Our house is small and we have found it a bit of a squeeze for the 9 of us. We knew from the outset that it would be so. We imagined it would be a temporary move, and I guess not too much time has passed yet, however circumstances do not seem to be offering anything different on the immediate horizon. Some of my children are fast coming to the end of their childhood and there were things I dearly wanted for them to experience, as children.
I find myself wavering between two thoughts. To build this place up as our home; plant a beautiful garden, simplify so that we fit in better, buy new curtains, paint the walls, be a part of the neighbourhood, and so on, and so on. To put down our roots...
And the second thought. Our dream. To get out of suburbia and live semi rural in a greener place. On a property big enough that the kids can go on adventures and come back worn out but satisfied at the end of the day. Where I could do the same, planting veggie's, walking amongst the tree's, listening to the birds, joining in the children. A place we could enjoy walking around; we like leafy trails not rows of houses. A place that ultimately some part of me feels would be best for us. The place of a healthy childhood. The place where we would all be happiest.
Oh I know many things can be done right where we are, and that is what we shall do at this point. Enjoy the blessings of this house, the community of those who surround us. And wait for the will of God to be known. In patience. But it keeps coming up in my mind, time is running out, time is running out. We'll go on a drive for a couple of hours to the country side, and as we return to the suburbs there's a feeling of disappointment.
I want to give our current place a good try though. I will do the best I can to see if there isn't some way to keep where we are, yet do some of those things we long for. I don't want to ruin the blessings of the day by pining for something which may never be. And which attained, may neither hold happiness, nor be good for us. I have done too much of that already; thinking I know best and finding that I don't. Thy will be done O Lord, not mine!
Things to do this year:
- go bush-walking on weekends
- trail-bike riding
- in-term tennis and maybe swimming
- soccer for the boys
- go for a brisk walk with the eldest two on the mornings that Dh is home
- get an aviary in the next few months, get Scarlet Chested Parrots, Bourke Parrots, Brown Quail, Star Finches, and Double-barred Finches.
- establish a new children's choir at our parish
- get the kids watching more 'engineering for kids' type video's on youtube
- learn to sew using a sewing machine and make our own clothes
- kids to learn piano online
- make themed cakes for birthdays
- Take the older children, individually, for tea, cake, and a chat with Mama every now and then.
- have a games night
- low carbs meals for me.
- start composting!
- Make Prayer booklets for the kids and me.
- Go camping, at least once.
- Buy a good wooden chess set. (Did you know that St Teresa of Avila and St Maximilian Kolbe, two favorite saints of mine, both loved chess? Just found that out myself.)
- Get a box to store gifts in. Buy gifts to put in it!
- Try to make the nine First Fridays, starting this week(?)
- Obedience, listening, to speak in charity always, manners, and eye contact - for the kids
- for me - to guard against sloth knowing that 'sloth is not doing what you are supposed to be doing when you are supposed to be doing it'.
- to become more disciplined with praying the office, rosary, and to read my Bible and 'Divine Intimacy' daily, pray the 'three Hail Mary's' morning and night.
- to integrate the Rule of St. Benedict into our family life.
- move to an emphasis on reading books to the children for family fun rather than movies though not excluding them.
- To find peace in the Lord. Heaven or hell starts now. I choose Heaven.