We had a little surprise this Easter. Well just a little bit before actually, on Maundy Thursday. We found out that I am pregnant again! What joy! What excitement! Ds6 (4 years old) ran up to me and kissed me on the tummy:
'How big is baby?' he asked.
'As big as a poppy seed', I said.
'You mean like Ant Man?',
'I guess so'.
'I know the babies name'
'Yes, it's Ant Baby' ;)
But all has not gone smoothly. For the first time my Doctor prescribed me some supplements. All the blood tests have gone well since. But I am having quite a bit of tummy aching. Some of it I am sure is due to food intolerances, which always gets worse for me during pregnancy, despite all I have read that is to the contrary. And some of it is, as best I remember, like the beginnings of two previous miscarriages. Nothing more can be done now except to 'pray, hope, and don't worry', and maybe not to eat over ripe banana's. I have a scan next Wednesday, which seems like forever away, where we hope to see a heartbeat. And sometimes I feel optimistic, and sometimes it just feels like it's only time till I miscarry. And I'm trying to enjoy every moment with this little one. I do have morning sickness, and pregnancy brain fog. My tummy is dutifully expanding due to the fact that I probably have no tummy muscles what so ever.
I almost feel like hanging up a sign on my blog, 'Back in June' (when the all day, all night sickness should come to an end) as I really don't feel like being on the computer a whole lot.
I have read on the internet, '1 in 4 pregnant women over 40 will miscarry'. Not very uplifting statistics!
But, do you know what? It's all in God's hands, and there is great comfort in that fact.
I do hope to write a lot on this pregnancy if I get the chance. It may very well be the last chance. I'd like to write down as much as I remember from my other pregnancies too as well as this one, for my children to read from in the future.
I remember thinking about journalling during my first pregnancy. But then I got sick, and well, then I just never got around to it. Dd1 got out an old diary the other day that I wrote a few entries into while pregnant with Ds7. We marvelled at some of the things we read, and how we wouldn't have remembered these things if I hadn't written them down. One of the comments I wrote down was about the beauty in the ordinary days. And that is so true. Some people write daily journals, no matter what. It must be beautiful to read back through them. The truth is that the ordinary days are among some of the most wonderful. So, I do hope to journal, very ordinary, but wonderful things :)
Any prayers for baby and I will be most gratefully appreciated! God bless!